What does empower or empowered mean to you…really stop and think about it for a minute.

From wikipedia – Empowerment refers to increasing the spiritual, political, social or economic strength of individuals and communities. It often involves the empowered developing confidence in their own capacities.

My personal definition includes knowing yourself well, knowing what you believe in, understanding what makes you tick and what makes you break down. After you have a good grasp on who you are as a healthy adult, then it becomes about developing your confidence in knowing who you are is OK…what you believe is OK…regardless of what others may think.

All Mothers know how important this is, the first time your little one takes someone else’s toy at play group or even slugs another kid at the park. If you are not feeling confident in your parenting when something like that happens…we know what happens next. We over react and beat ourselves up and possibly even our precious little ones all the way home in the car. Yet, if we are feeling good about who we are, the choices we have made as a parent, the incident is just a small blip on our Motherhood map. We know that our child is not an evil sociopath…yet instead just a tried or hungry toddler. It didn’t ruin our day or our relationship with our child!

So, to me, being an empowered parent is all about self understanding and self acceptance! There are so many wounded people out in the world and many of them are parents! Geez…I’m one of them…yet now I consider myself a wounded healer. I am someone who wants to help others get past their wounding and into their empowerment! So how do you do that exactly, Tracy? Well, it is not an exact system…instead it is more of a process. Through working with 100’s of Mothers and quite a few Fathers, I have learned how to help people become empowered parents!

Here are a few key principles to help you move forward in your empowerment process!

• It’s not about them…it’s about you. When you find yourself wanting to yell or punish your child, step back, take 3 deep breaths, and ask yourself ” why am I so upset?”
• Don’t take it personally. Your children are not planning an evil plot to make you look bad. More likely than not they are just being children. Don’t forget to always take HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) into consideration.
• If you find yourself consulting or buying every expert’s technique or book, you are not an empowered parent. You have lost track of what’s most important and that’s your inner knowing. Yes, I am an expert…yet I am an expert at helping you become an empowered parent.
• If you find yourself scouring the Internet for answers…STOP…and realize that when it comes to parenting you know what to do. You know what your child needs!
• Spend time in quiet meditation or with a journal and ask yourself the questions.
• Realize the importance of staying positive and loving, children are very sensitive to our emotions!
• Remembering what is the most important thing to us as Parents…our relationships with our children!

So what do I need you for Tracy? You need me to support you on your empowerment journey! You need me to bounce ideas off of, to get a fresh new perspective, to help you uncover and dust off your core values. You need me to be on you side, be your biggest cheerleader and help you implement your new ideals!

Personal empowerment is where true strength and happiness comes from! Let me help you…help you!

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Please join me on Facebook; I will be doing a FREE call on becoming an Empowered Parent at the end of this month. I do a free call with my Facebook group at the end every month!

>>>Join Facebook Group<<< ]]> http://transformingfamily.com/tracyliebmann/empowered-parenting/feed/ 0 http://transformingfamily.com/tracyliebmann/mythbusters-family-version/ http://transformingfamily.com/tracyliebmann/mythbusters-family-version/#comments Wed, 17 Feb 2010 02:05:30 +0000 admin http://transformingfamily.com/tracyliebmann/?p=612 Most of us know and love the wonderful MythBusters series on Discovery Channel; well today I want to Bust some of the most common myths that surround family life and personal development! We often have long lasting thoughts about life that just are not *really* true! In the article I will do my part to help you Bust those personal myths that hold you back from having Your Best Life! So let’s get started MythBustin’!

Myth’s about Happiness:

Myth #1 – I’ll be happy when I lose 20 (30,40,50) pounds.

How many of us have thoughts this, just to go ahead and torture ourselves by not eating the foods we love, lose the weight and be happy for just a little while. Yet after we get used to being our new slimmer selves, we realize nothing has *really* changed and we seem to have all the challenges we always had…including worrying about our weight! So in reality losing weight did not actually bring us the happiness we were looking for!
BUSTED!
Myth #2 – I’ll be happy after my house gets cleaned up.

So you’ve had it! You’re sick and tired of the mess and you get cracking…and you clean your house! Ahhhh…what a great feeling a clean house is…for sure! Yet did it really bring happiness? Well yes, it does bring happiness for a short while. Possibly even shorter than the weight lose brought due to your hubby and 3 kids messing the whole place up…lol! You realize it does feel better to have a clean house and it does add to your happiness factor, yet it is not a lasting happiness.
PLAUSABLE!
Myth #3 – I’ll be happy when I move to a different area/state or into a larger house.

Oh boy, this is one I used to believe 10 to 15 years ago…guess what I found out? Where ever I went…there I was! Meaning, happiness is an inside job! We can truly be happy for the inside out…not from the outside in. For me I had a lot of self awareness, self acceptance, personal development action I needed to take…before I could truly be happy regardless of my weight, mess, town or house I was in 
BUSTED!

Myth’s about Parenting:

Myth #4 – Kids are going to be “bad” and misbehave if I/we don’t “teach” them how to behave!

Kids are not inherently bad…just the opposite is true! They are inherently GOOD! Yes, of course we have more experience in life that we can share with our kids to help guide them. Yet truly the best thing we can do for our kids is BE there for them, be there to help them, be there to guide them when they need us. The best way to teach out kids how to be and act responsible, respectful, kind, and loving is to model that behavior. Treat your children kindly, loving, respectful & responsibly; they will “learn” that is the way to act toward others.
BUSTED!

Myth #5 I was spanked and disciplined as a child and I didn’t turn out so bad.

Well, I’m sure if you are reading this Transforming Family E-Zine you are probably right…you did not turn out so bad…lol! Yet, if you look deeply, was your relationship with your parents damaged by being harshly disciplined by them. Do you find yourself harshly disciplining your children; then feeling badly wishing you had better parenting skills?
PLAUSIBLE? NO… BUSTED!

Myths about Marriage & Family:

Myth #5 – Happily Ever After. Things should be easier than this.

The truth about relationships is there is a certain amount of “work” that goes into them. So the idea that we fall in love with our husband or babies and everything is “happily ever after…is just hoo-haa! Yep…that’s what I just said HOO-HAA! What a real happy marriage/family looks like is a group of people coming together in a common goal. Willingness to look at one another as being perfect humans in the mist of all our challenges. Being willing to do whatever personal development is necessary to be the best Mom, Dad or kids you can be. Are you willing to do what ever it takes to have the family of your dreams??
BUSTED!

Many of the myths I have talked about come up in one way or another while working with my coaching clients, if you are someone who could relate to one or more of these myths and are ready to change your thinking from BUSTED to CONFIRMED, you are ready to join one of my coaching programs!

>>>Click here to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Session<<<

Act now because I only have 2 spaces left for coaching clients before I go onto a waiting list!

As Mothers we work hard 24/7…365! We care for others and sometimes forget ourselves. That strategy does not *really* benefit anyone.

“In trying to satisfy all, I may be able to satisfy none” ~Gandhi

So let’s get the focus back on our very important selves this year, it is not selfish to care for self…it is wise and necessary…especially for Mother’s!! Let’s explore things we can do for ourselves as a whole divine person; let’s break it down into three very important parts!

Body ~ Mind ~ Spirit

Body ~

• Rest! Our bodies need a certain amount of rest to function well. I know for Mother’s this can be a challenge, yet it needs to be a top priority! Sleep depravation can have a serious negative impact on how well we are able to care for ourselves and our family!
• No excuses…look for solutions to your sleep issues and get more Rest!!

• Diet/Nutrition ~ Let’s talk diet first, since this is the time of year that everyone thinks about the great new diet plan they will carry out in 2011. I would like to remind you to come from a place of self love when consider dieting. Dieting from a place of self hatred will never end well. You may lose the weight, but it will be back L Love yourself enough to eat well, not from hating your big butt, but from loving yourself!

• Exercise ~ Getting outside in the fresh air and sunshine, with your heart pumping and your lungs felling with sweet air is very important not only for your waistline but also for your brain. I will say the same thing I said above…Exercise out of love for Self, not from a place of hatred or punishment. Go out with the kids and play kick ball, take a walk or run with the stroller. EnJoy life…Enjoy your body!

• Water ~ Drink lots of water! That’s all I’m gonna say on that subject, you know why!

• Massage ~ This is not just a fabulous way to spend a Saturday afternoon. It is actually good for you. It releases toxins, and keeps your body working well from the inside out! Caring for self is a necessity, not a luxury! OK, I just have to say…I don’t care what your husband thinks (gasp)! Do it for yourself, show yourself love and nurturing…your worth it!!

Mind ~

How do you care for your mind? How do you “clear your head”? Caring for your mental health is *very* important and needs to be done on a daily basis!

• Quiet ~ Everyday find a way to quiet your mind. I know quiet is a valuable commodity for a Mother! Every valuable commodity is worth seeking right?! It can look different for everyone. Some people take 15 minutes to meditate; others may break their quiet time down to 5 minutes in morning, noon and night. Some may breathe deep, close their eyes and relax while a child is nursing. It’s all good J Find a way to quiet your mind daily!

• Support ~ Mother’s need loving support! Find other Mom’s that you have a lot in common with; with similar parenting styles and plan weekly meet ups. Hire a Life Coach that has similar philosophy about family and children as you do. How ever and where ever you can, look for and find loving support. Again that is an act of self care and you are important enough to receive it!

• Ask For Help ~ We really don’t have to do it all!! We can ask for help. If you are feeling like you have no one to ask…start looking for solutions. Find a babysitter you can trust, hire a cleaning person, even ask the kids and Husband where they would be willing to help J

• Body ~ If you take good care of your body; getting enough rest, exercise and nutrition your mind will be functioning at it’s best, so revisit that subject and ask yourself what your mind needs to feel better.

Spirit ~

To me spirit is about heart and soul; for Mother’s this is a very powerful part of the body, mind, and spirit paradigm! Taking good care, listening to and honoring our spirit is extremely important!

• Spirituality ~ For some this means religion and church going; for others it means we are all connected and one with source and lots of in between! So I am writing this in a general way. Honor your beliefs, even if they are different than others that are close to you. Life is an individual journey that is connected to others for the reason of love, support and growth. Make time for yourself to honor your beliefs; go to church, join a group, meditate and/or pray. Care for your spiritual side.

• Authentic Self ~ *Knowing* ourselves at the deepest level and honoring who we are is especially important to feeling our best. If we are not following our inner voice or true selves we will feel unhappy and out of sorts because we are going against our highest good. Often through years of societal conditioning we lose sight of who we really are. We have lost our Authentic (true) Selves. If this is striking a cord for you, and you are feeling like; yes this is what is happening to me. Following the suggestions already mentioned here in this article will help…yet you may also desire some extra support. This is  my *passion* to help women find their Authentic Selves, please e-mail me and I can send you more articles and information that will help you uncover what the layers of life have buried. tracy@transfomringfamily.com

Have you ever noticed that people will spend money to make money? Thousands…probably millions are spent on get rich quick schemes everyday! Yet, very rarely do people make millions. Why do you think people are often unwilling to spend money on what everyone says is the most important thing in their lives…their family? Now…just go with me here…what would a get rich quick scheme look like for you when it comes to your family life?

Picture this…your husband (or wife) calls you midday and asks you out on a romantic date that night. He has planned everything, right down to the trusted babysitter. Is that hitting the jackpot as far as family life goes?? Or maybe it’s more like this for you…you have a wonderful family dinner together that everyone pitched in to make.  You laugh and tell stories about your day while making dinner with your kids. Everyone happily sits down together for dinner and afterwards everyone is willing to clean up without a fuss. Next the kids take off to do homework or watch TV and you and your spouse enjoy a quiet evening without any big disturbances. OK is that making a million in family life??

You see where I am going with all this…you really can have the million dollar family! Yet just like making millions…it’s gonna take some “work”. It may even cost some $$. Is your family worth it? Are you willing to do what it takes?  I know for a fact your million dollar family is right there in front of you…waiting to break the bank open so to speak! How do I know this? It is my experience! I have experienced living a poor family life first hand and I know what it takes to make it a Million!

I took my over-tired, angry, frustrated, feeling unloved and unappreciated Self from rags to riches! No, I do not literally mean monetarily. I am talking about spiritually! I am talking about being willing to do what it takes to turn things around, to have the motivation to Transform My Family. I had it 10 years ago and I have it today…the motivation that is! Are there things in your life that you know need to change? Do the same challenges come up day after day? If you answered, YES! Why not let me help you? What holds you back? The usual reasons are time and finances. I have answers for both…lol! Time is not a problem. I can schedule appointments in the evening, weekend or during nap time. I am a mother who understands interruptions. So if you’re a stay at home mom who thinks she can’t talk on the phone with me, I have worked with many moms that would tell you otherwise. When it comes to money…let me tell you…I am SO worth it! If you need proof, I have it! Just ask. Also, I offer the best Transformational Coaching Programs out there!

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