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Publisher notes
Children live in the moment, they are our Zen
masters. As adults many of us have lost the ability to live in the
now. We started out here on this planet without any goals or
objectives, except the things we needed to stay alive and
comfortable. In youth we were free to be our true selves, until we
were fed notions and concepts which as adults we may still insist on
assuming are absolute truths. Sometimes we shed the emperors
clothing that had been sewn for us as children, just to put on some
other persons or groups emperors clothing. My challenge to you is to
get naked…that’s right, strip down to the bare bones of your
conditioning and belief system and design a new life for you and
your family that is uniquely yours. Envision and feel what you want
your best life to be and go for it! If you find you need a partner
on your journey of self discovery, I can always be reached at
www.transformingfamily.com Become child like again and enjoy the
ride!
Tracy
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What people are saying
My coaching sessions with Tracy came at a perfect
time. Being a parent is the most important thing I have ever done in
my life. I love it. But I also know that objective help can be very
wonderful if offered by the right person. Tracy is that person for
me. She is someone who cares deeply for the well-being of children,
so I trust her as a coach. She also cares deeply for the well-being
of all people. Tracy would listen to my concerns that week,
understand them, and shed some new light on an issue from an angle I
hadn't thought of before. Being a parent herself, she understands
how challenging parenting can be sometimes. Her compassion was
present at all times...compassion for the children and for me as a
parent wanting to "do right" for my kids. She has a very calming
presence and I always walked away from our conversations with more
awareness than I came with. I highly recommend Tracy for anyone
looking to deepen their awareness of themselves and their children!
Kerry
Arizona |
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Parenting
Curriculum
A curriculum relies on specific
goals and objectives that should be achieved within a certain
timeline. When it comes to parenting I find the results of this
stilted and mundane. Our children are not products; they are
autonomous beings who need to be in connection with their parents.
When I threw out the curriculum and simply created a safe place for
collaboration, wonderful changes occurred within my family. Having
expectations for a child to achieve certain goals and objectives by
a certain time is just setting them (and us) up for failure. I
needed a way to reframe the curriculum that I had started out with
and this is the best way I can put it into words.
I started to look at it like a musician entering a jam session. I am
one person who has learned how to play my instrument who is in
collaboration with the other people in my family all bringing their
gifts and talents to our jam session. Together we share ideas on how
we want our song to sound and then we just start playing. What flows
in that moment is what matters, not the preconceived notions about
what we thought the song should sound like. The art of this jam
session is that we meet on common ground, which is the wellbeing of
the family, then we improvise and see what we can come up with. The
tune often sounds nothing like the original preconceived idea...that
is the art of living without a curriculum.
I use the word art purposefully, no two families are exactly alike,
just like a painting or sculpture. In a family jam session standard
activities like meal time, watching TV, personal hygiene or deciding
what to do that day, provide the setting for this type of improv.
The skills and knowledge we have at our fingertips are not employed
according to plan, we (parents) are not the boss or even the lead
player, and we let things unfold naturally using our “expertise”
only when we are asked. We are like the drummer who supports the
other artists and keeps the rhythm going. The magic happens during
the interactions, in the space between the participants, no one
member can take the credit.
Parenting without a curriculum means looking at life with our family
as a philosophy of experiential learning, one that downplays the
intellectual tendency to predict and control. Integrating spiritual
principles like “leads by following”, “finding perfection in things
as they are and not as we think they should be”, these are
principles a conscious parent will live by. It is an experience, NOT
a script or a bundle of dogma! The idea is to live moment by moment,
being true to you.
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