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Publisher notes
Welcome 2007! I have so much gratitude for my
coaching clients and you all who read my newsletter monthly. It
means a lot to me that I can share myself this way with all of
you…thanks! The New Year is already looking promising for my family
and I hope the same for yours. I’m working on a lot of new and
interesting things including; a local parenting group here in
Charleston, a teleconference group and a speaking engagement! Since
most of you are from all over the world, keep an eye on my events
page at www.transformingfamily.com
to see what’s new that you can participate with on the phone. If
anyone has any ideas, suggestions or questions please feel free to
contact me at
tracy@transformingfamily.com
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What people are saying
Tracy has a real gift at cutting through the surface
of a challenge and getting to the core very quickly. Before I
started working with Tracy, I was just spinning my wheels. Talking
with my friends and family and continuing the same patterns without
ever even noticing. Our very first session she helped me see
underlying causes, usually old thinking patterns, which were
sabotaging my parenting efforts. With my new found self knowledge I
feel better prepared to parent the way I want to from my heart and
with love instead of just reacting to those old tapes that were
causing me to behave poorly. I am so grateful to have found
Transforming Family on the internet and took the step to contact
Tracy. I encourage anyone else who is considering a coach to go with
Tracy, she is wonderful!
Lynn H.
Pennsylvania
"I have worked with Tracy for the past 6 months and I for one
appreciate the combination of knowledge, experience and heartfelt
caring she brings
to our talks. Every time we talk I feel both heard and supported.
The questions she asks me challenge my thinking and touch my heart.
I leave each session empowered to take my next step on my journey.
Working with
Tracy is helping change my life in a way I couldn't have done by
myself. Thanks Tracy!"
Judy
New Mexico |
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Our Beliefs, Our
Behavior
Belief is usually defined as a
conviction of the truth of a proposition without its verification;
therefore a belief is a subjective mental interpretation derived
from perceptions, contemplation or communication.
What we believe is basically who we are. It drives just about
everything we do, but what are these beliefs and where did they come
from? I have been thinking about this for awhile now and it is a
fascinating subject. I know without a doubt my beliefs about family
and being a parent have been challenged in the last 10 years. I will
share some of the most obvious beliefs that people hold and if
questioned, can lead to a change in belief which can lead to a
change in behavior.
Beliefs worth challenging:
1. Life is hard; you must work
hard to get what you want.
2. I must regulate what my child
does; including things like TV, video games, food and bedtime.
3. Rewards and Punishments are the
only way to produce well behaved children.
4. Children (all ages) are not
capable of making reasonable choices.
Same beliefs challenged:
1. Life is abundant; I can have
anything my heart desires. Why do we have to make things hard, I
believe we have a choice. We can choose the way we look at things,
I’m not saying we don’t have to do the foot work in life. We have to
do a lot of foot work to get what we want out of life, but we can
choose to do the “work” of life joyfully!
2. My children know what they need, they know what to do to honor
their needs. I believe children are well equipped to know when they
are hungry or tired and they know what their bodies need. The only
reason that is not true is because of something I or society has
done to mess with there inner knowing. Same holds true for things
with “screens”. My children have learned a lot from the technologies
that are available to them, life is totally different than it was 20
years ago. Time to reevaluate our beliefs.
3. Connecting with and respecting my children will give them the
best start in life, they will behave the way I behave. Treat
children with respect, they will respect others. Connect with each
other they will connect well with others. Punish them, they will
punish others. Rewards are manipulative, manipulate children they
will manipulate others.
4. All children (regardless of age) are capable to make reasonable
choices, when they are given enough accurate information. Choices
for a toddler should not be limited to what color cup they want to
drink from. Children want to learn and understand the world they
live in, we need to give them accurate information and show them the
ropes. Safety is always of the utmost importance, we should always
keep our children safe while explaining what the dangers are and
letting them explore their world. If we are overly protected and
controlled we can not learn how to make good informed decisions
later in life.
To challenge our beliefs is not to say they are erroneous or
invalid, yet asking questions about our beliefs opens the door to
ask why we believe what we do. After you look at your belief system,
where it came from and if it still serves you, you can move forward
knowing you where brave enough to look. We are belief makers!
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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