By: Tracy Liebmann
The Holiday season conjures up wonderful
ideas and memories of delicious food, time with friends and family,
gift giving and receiving…a season of JOY! Yet for some, it is not
that simple. Often people who are living outside the box of society
feel somewhat challenged by this time of year. It can be challenging
visiting our families or friends with a more traditional view of the
way things should go, from parenting to food we may be making
different choices in our families. So what do we do, well the goal
would be to just fill yourself with love, go and enjoy yourself, but
that is often easier said than done. Let’s spend some time looking
at possible solutions for the different challenges that may present
themselves during this wonderful season.
Over the hill and through the woods to Grandmothers house we go…The
challenge begins with the Holiday meal being served right in the
middle of the day when our child naps, child is grumpy, and there
are expectations for him/her to sit at family table with the entire
family or a gift is giving that our child already has or does not
like and our child is used to being honest…but the rest of the
family…not so much! OMG…what if the child doesn’t even want to go to
Grandmas house, then what? Well, first I would change my focus to be
in the most loving and positive place I can be. I would look for
solutions that could work for everyone. For example; the time of day
problem could possible be solved by seeing if the adults were
willing to change the time or you could work with your child
suggesting laying down with them for a rest before you go. If
creative solutions are not coming together yet everyone wants to go,
go prepared! Maybe take two cars so if some people need to leave
early, just be sure that everything is talked about before you go
and set your intention to be positive. Everything will work out;
there really is no need to get all stressed out. The example of an
honest child telling a relative they don’t like a gift can be tricky
but again it has a lot to do with our attitude, how people will
react to something like that. If we are OK, they will be OK too. It
is also important to talk about “social graces” before you go,
explaining without shaming, what people expect in these situations.
Social graces are a complicated thing for a young child to
understand and often they are just bad conditioning, so be sure you
understand your beliefs about this type of thing before you pass it
along to your child. The child that doesn’t even want to go, now
that’s a challenge for people like us trying to live consensually!
There are many different factors that go into this one, child’s age,
travel distance, and everyone involved…that’s a big can of worms.
First, I would really listen to the child’s concerns or reasons for
not wanting to go, then try to work around the problem areas being
careful to honor the child, not try and convince them to see it your
way. I would never force a child to do anything against his or her
will, there are so many different scenarios here I can’t really go
into them all, If you have a situation like this feel free to e-mail
me at tracy@transformingfamily.com
I focused on the Holidays because of the season we are in, yet you
can see how these situations come up all the time in our daily
lives, so remember to carry these words through out your year!
Peace~ Have peace within yourself, look for peaceful solutions, and
move peacefully in celebration. Love~ Love yourself, love the people
who surround you, and send love and light to the world. Free~ Be
free to enjoy what you have created and continue to create freely. ~
Happy Holidays~ Tracy
Tracy Liebmann is an unschooling mom and a Family Life Coach who
offers phone and cyber coaching. To Learn more about Tracy and what
she has to offer go to her website today and sign up for a FREE
sample session!
www.transformingfamily.com