By: Tracy Liebmann
Belief is usually defined as a conviction
of the truth of a proposition without its verification; therefore a
belief is a subjective mental interpretation derived from
perceptions, contemplation or communication.[1] What we believe is
basically who we are. It drives just about everything we do, but
what are these beliefs and where did they come from? I have been
thinking about this for awhile now and it is a fascinating subject.
I know without a doubt my beliefs about family and being a parent
have been challenged in the last 10 years. I will share some of the
most obvious beliefs that people hold and if questioned, can lead to
a change in belief which can lead to a change in behavior.
Beliefs worth challenging:
1. Life is hard; you must work hard to get what you want.
2. I must regulate what my child does; including things like TV,
video games, food and bedtime.
3. Rewards and Punishments are the only way to produce well behaved
children.
4. Children (all ages) are not capable of making reasonable choices.
Same beliefs challenged:
1. Life is abundant; I can have anything my heart desires. Why do we
have to make things hard, I believe we have a choice. We can choose
the way we look at things, I’m not saying we don’t have to do the
foot work in life. We have to do a lot of foot work to get what we
want out of life, but we can choose to do the “work” of life
joyfully!
2. My children know what they need, they know what to do to honor
their needs. I believe children are well equipped to know when they
are hungry or tired and they know what their bodies need. The only
reason that is not true is because of something I or society has
done to mess with there inner knowing. Same holds true for things
with “screens”. My children have learned a lot from the technologies
that are available to them, life is totally different than it was 20
years ago. Time to reevaluate our beliefs.
3. Connecting with and respecting my children will give them the
best start in life, they will behave the way I behave. Treat
children with respect, they will respect others. Connect with each
other they will connect well with others. Punish them, they will
punish others. Rewards are manipulative, manipulate children they
will manipulate others.
4. All children (regardless of age) are capable to make reasonable
choices, when they are given enough accurate information. Choices
for a toddler should not be limited to what color cup they want to
drink from. Children want to learn and understand the world they
live in, we need to give them accurate information and show them the
ropes. Safety is always of the utmost importance, we should always
keep our children safe while explaining what the dangers are and
letting them explore their world. If we are overly protected and
controlled we can not learn how to make good informed decisions
later in life.
To challenge our beliefs is not to say they are erroneous or
invalid, yet asking questions about our beliefs opens the door to
ask why we believe what we do. After you look at your belief system,
where it came from and if it still serves you, you can move forward
knowing you where brave enough to look. We are belief makers!
[1] From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia