By: Tracy Liebmann
Connecting with our inner wisdom and giving
our children a chance to never lose theirs can be a challenge in our
modern world. Our culture actually encourages us to dissociate from
our body, our instincts, and our senses. Children are taught to
narrow their attention, to cling to the past, and focus on the
future, losing their ability to fully function in the present. They
become dependent on authority figures who themselves only excel in
highly specialized environments and situations. We might ask, how
did this happen, why did this happen? I believe that it lies in
generation after generation of conditioning us to fit in; to fit
into our family, school, work…society. I really don’t want to go off
on some kind of rant about the “machine” yet it’s hard to discuss
this subject without pointing out the fact that over the last couple
of centuries we have really lost our autonomy, while having to fit
into the already mentioned system. What I do want to talk about is
how we, right here, right now, can help make a difference for
ourselves and our children.
If you’re here today, reading this, you have refused to submit
completely to the soul demoralizing repression that most of us have
experienced growing up in modern society. Yet still we have
behavioral quirks and self destructive outburst that challenge us in
our relationships with others. It has been said that true spiritual
growth always comes from being in relations with others. Parents are
all too aware of this fact, our children are wonderful mirrors for
our spiritual and mental health. Looking deeply into our children’s
eyes we can see a dark reflective pond of knowledge, the difficulty
comes from not being able to see, or even more challenging not even
being able to lOOk. Some people look but can only see a little
through the haze of conditioning, that told us children where
emotionally and intellectual lower life forms in comparison to us,
the taller, older and wiser adults. So, what should we do? I suggest
opening up to the possibilities of real change, envision what you
want from this change and dive into the pond behind your child’s
eye, it can transform you!
I always like to give concrete examples of what I am trying to
convey, because often this type of parenting discussion can be
perceived as pie in the sky, not realistic thinking. My experience
has shown that living with and looking at your children as partners
in this life’s journey can be very real, very connecting and very
life changing! So let’s dive in, let’s look at some common
behavioral quirks and self destructive outburst that challenge
parents. Common challenges that come from our conditioning include;
What kids should wear, what they should eat, who their friends
should be, what sports they should play, college or no college…it’s
all conditioning. In our society how you look is who you are, so
when you child comes down the stairs in the same ripped jeans or
dirty t-shirt that you hate, you have a destructive outburst…why?
When you stop yourself and look into the pond you will see the
reflection of you, you might think the way your child is perceived
in the world is a direct reflection of what kind of mother you
are…it’s all conditioning. My mom used to say “you’re going to wear
that?”, all it did was make me feel bad about myself and disconnect
me from her. I challenge you next time you want to say something
about a wardrobe, food or friend choice your child has made, bite
your tongue and reflect on where this is coming from. Take a minute
to think about all the second guessing and judgment you do in
regards to your children’s choices. If we are always questioning
their choices, they are going to always question their choices, they
will not trust themselves. This is the insidious destructive pattern
of conditioning, the conditioning so that we will all fit neatly
into society. The cost is a disconnect from ourselves, our children
and the collective whole. Looking into the pond will simple reflect
what is, providing you with an oasis of clarity and peace in which
to expand your awareness. With no attachment to the outcome, you
will open to the possibilities that will transform you and your
family. Peace~Love~Free.